


A Baby, A Lizard Monster, Two Hunters, and An Angel Walk Into A Bar

by planiforidjit



Series: A Baby, A Lizard Monster, Two Hunters, and An Angel Walk Into A Bar [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Fic, Bottom Cas, Bottom Dean, Chubby Dean, Fingering, M/M, Rimming, but not even that much, honestly the violence is probably a let down, some violence/blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 00:22:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3708403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planiforidjit/pseuds/planiforidjit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A baby shows up on front steps of the bunker and Sam and Dean have no choice but to take it in. They don't know where it came from or how someone knew to drop the baby with them, but with Cas's help they're trying to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Baby, A Lizard Monster, Two Hunters, and An Angel Walk Into A Bar

**Author's Note:**

> This took way longer to write than it should have considering its length, but here it is! Enjoy!

Dean and Cas have a baby. 

Well. They don't have a baby in the sense that they're in a healthy relationship and mean to have a kid that they raise together or something. They have a baby more in the sense that Dean and Sam had a baby that one time with the shifters and Samuel and Sam didn't have a soul and was possibly using the baby as bait. Not planned. The opposite of planned really. 

What ever happened to that baby anyway? Presumably it's living a happy life as a shifter and Dean and Sam will have to kill it one day. Dean's definitely going to have to look into that. He'd feel bad about it. 

This is kind of the same as that time. Except this time the baby just showed up on the steps outside the bunker in a little carrier all nestled in a blanket. He was asleep. Didn't cry at all until Dean brought him inside and Sam accidentally dropped a giant book at the sight of the little thing. 

"Like fuckin Harry Potter," Dean had said. Sam had chuckled. Cas wasn't there at the time. He showed up later, out of breath after Dean sent up a prayer about the kid. Cas would have understood the reference, but wouldn't have laughed. The whole Cas understanding references thing is a general disappointment to the Winchester brothers. They liked it better when he was oblivious. It was funnier. 

So Dean and Cas have a baby. It's probably more like Dean and Cas and Sam have a baby because they're all taking care of it, but it's Dean and Cas right now and really Dean seems to be the most attached. It's not a surprise or anything. 

They're standing in the middle of Babies R Us and staring at diapers trying to figure out the right ones. Sam is back at the bunker researching what this baby could be even though they can't figure it out. Unless it's human, but when does that ever happen? They even touched a silver knife to the poor little guy's arm. It didn't burn. His big brown eyes just got all wide and Dean pulled the knife away quickly. His little face cracked into a big gummy smile and he laughed at him. 

"Just pick a brand, Cas," Dean says, cradling the baby in his arm. He'd fallen asleep there and Dean keeps swaying back and forth slowly so that he doesn't wake him up. 

"How old do you think he is?" Cas asks, peering over Dean's arm. The baby gets a little wrinkle between his eyebrows and Dean rocks him slower. He doesn't want him to start crying. They really don't need someone coming over and realizing that this isn't their kid and that they have no idea what they're doing. 

"Little," Dean says. He studies the baby. "Four months maybe." 

Cas hums. "Give me your phone, Dean." 

"What? It's in my pocket, man. I can't grab it and hold this guy. Why do you need my phone?" 

Cas reaches into Dean's pocket and Dean rolls his eyes up towards the ceiling. It's a testament to how long Dean has gone without getting any that he feels a little thrill at it. It quickly disappears when Cas withdraws his hand along with Dean's phone and starts typing away. 

"This brand gets the best reviews," Cas says eventually, pulling down a big purple box and throwing it into their cart. 

"Cool," Dean says. "Whatever." 

Cas rolls his eyes. "Dean, this child is in our care." 

"Okay, fine. Get the best you can get, Cas. I trust you to figure it out. I'll be over here actually holding the little dude." 

Cas just nods like Dean has said something very wise and he pushes the cart down the aisle. Dean follows cooing at the little sleeping baby. And if he presses little kisses to his head that's his own damn business. 

They get baby food, some clothes, bottles, formula, one of those pop up play pen things. Dean just lets Cas get whatever he wants, no point in fighting it. When they get to the register the cashier coos at them. 

"You two are an adorable couple," she says. 

"Oh," says Cas. "We're not—." 

Dean bumps Cas's shoulder and grins. "We are cute, aren't we, sweetie?" 

Cas looks down at his hands, blushes furiously. "Dean, I—." 

Dean is worried for a moment that he's gone too far. Though he doesn't really understand how that's possible. He and Cas have been through everything. Pretending to be a couple to keep questions from a cashier at a minimum doesn't seem that crazy in the context of their lives. 

"And what's this little guy's name?" the cashier asks, oblivious to Cas's stammering. 

"John—Johnny really," Dean says with all the confidence in the world. He thinks for about two seconds of little Bobby-John who probably isn't actually called Bobby-John anymore so it's probably not weird. And at least they're not calling him Bobby. Though Bobby would've been a better name. 

"What a cutie," she says and finishes checking them out. "I love it when fathers hold their children. So much better than a stroller or carrier." 

"Cheaper too," Dean smirks as he swipes the stolen credit card. 

In the car Cas keeps turning around in his seat to check on Johnny in the back. Johnny is asleep, cheek pressed against the edge of his car seat, mouth pursed. 

"Making sure he's still there?" Dean asks. 

Cas makes a little noise, but doesn't say anything. 

"I wish I had thought to call him Bobby," Dean says with a sigh. 

"He looks like a Johnny," says Cas, twisting around to check on the baby one more time. He reaches out and touches Johnny's foot carefully before pulling his hand away. "He looks healthy, yes?" 

"Yes," says Dean. "Even if he wasn't, couldn't you just zap him better?" 

Cas makes the same noise he did before, low in his throat like an angry cat. "I suppose so. He can't tell me what's wrong, though. I don't like that." 

"He looks healthy, Cas." 

Cas sits back in his seat, his head banging against the headrest. "You lied to that woman, Dean." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"We aren't a couple." 

"So? Do you feel bad about lying to her? You lie all the time, Cas." 

"No. I just—." 

"Plus, what were we going to say? Oh no this is just some kid we found and then didn't report to the police. This is totally not weird at all." 

"I don't know," Cas says. He looks angry for a second, but he settles down. "You're right." 

"Of course I'm right." 

Cas doesn't seem to be completely convinced and doesn't say anything for the rest of the ride, leaving Dean to think. Thinking...well thinking hasn't been Dean's strong suit lately. Not that he is making bad decisions, or at least his decisions aren't worse than they usually are. It's just that when he thinks he tends to go dark. Mark of Cain and what if he tries to kill people and why won't Cas show up all the time like he used to and now it's only sometimes and why does he miss Cas so much in the first place? And what if when Cas is gone he isn't even thinking about Dean? What if he just doesn't care? 

Very dark thoughts. 

When they pull up to the bunker Dean sighs loudly and presses his head against the steering wheel. Cas waits in silence. He lets Dean get out and Dean pulls Johnny from the back seat and into his arms before Cas gets out and grabbing their stuff from the store. He follows behind Dean into the bunker and Dean doesn't know what he did wrong but Cas seems a little forlorn. Cas is moody though anyway. A baby in a trench coat. Not that Cas is wearing the trench coat now. No he changed it out for jeans and a t-shirt and its a little disconcerting what that does to Dean's brain. It mostly involves Dean pointedly avoiding looking at him for too long. 

"Any news?" Dean asks Sam once they get everything settled. Cas sets up the play pen but Dean hasn't set Johnny down yet. They're just both comfortable. Dean's kind of into having this warm little ball of baby curled up in the crook of his arm. He feels all protective and fatherly and he hasn't been able to protect something so helpless in a long time. Even protecting Sam is kind of pointless now. 

"Not yet," Sam says. "No reported missing babies in the area and none in the state that fit his description. Not even any weird patterns of missing babies." Sam leans over Dean and strokes his fingers over Johnny's nearly bald head. "It's like he appeared out of thin air." 

It doesn't take long before they get into a routine. Dean spends most of his time taking care of Johnny, changing him, feeding him, waking up in the middle of the night when he cries. Johnny sleeps in his play pen in a room next to Dean's. They pick it up and move it so he can hang out wherever they are in the bunker. Sam spends most of his time researching. Cas is researching too, leaving every so often to check the surrounding town for anything weird. 

Cas stays distant from Johnny, hovering near him when he cries, waiting for Dean to pick him up. It's not like Cas has never held a baby before. Dean knew he was babysitting that one time with the angel that was killing everyone. But for some reason Cas won't touch him. It isn't until a week later, after leaving Johnny in the library with Sam that Dean follows Cas into the kitchen to ask why he's so weird with the baby. 

"Cas." Dean stands too close. He doesn't care, but for once Cas seems to. "Why won't you hold him?" 

Cas falters. "I've held him." 

"No you haven't. And I don't mind, man, but you don't even offer to feed him. You barely touch him." 

Cas looks down. "Dean, I—." 

"I found something!" Sam comes into the kitchen holding his laptop. He stops and stares at them. "Are you guys okay?" 

"Yes," Cas says. "We're fine."

Dean gives him a hard look before turning to Sam. "What did you find? Also did you just leave the kid in the other room?" 

"He's sleeping," Sam says. "I rigged the monitor to my computer. If anything happens we'll hear it." 

Sam turns up the volume on his computer and they can all hear Johnny's soft snores. Dean relaxes a little. 

"So," Sam says. "Get this. A woman was found dead in the woods near here a few days ago. They said she was totally torn apart and missing some vital organs, namely her liver, kidneys, and heart. Official report says animal attack but she had been dead for a week. She was identified as Christy Whelk who was never reported missing though now they're looking for her son...huh, his name actually is Johnny. so that's convenient. Or he's in here as John, but still Johnny." 

"Who's looking for him?" Dean asks. "Family?" 

"No family," Sam says. "The grandparents are gone, looks like the dad was killed six months ago and no aunts or uncles. The police are just looking, hoping the same thing that happened to his mom didn't happen to him." 

"What happened to the dad?" 

"The police report says a robbery that went south. Someone tried to break into their house, he attacked the assailant, ended up getting stabbed a bunch of times and left to die while the assailant fled. His pregnant wife found him. He got stabbed in the neck so many times he was almost decapitated. It's disgusting. I saw the photos." 

"Do you think the mom knew we were here?" 

"I think she was running from something and she wanted to keep her baby safe. Maybe she thought someone was here."

"Or maybe she knew about the men of letters. What would take those organs? If it was just the heart then I'd say werewolf, but liver and kidney's too?" 

"I have some ideas, but I'm kind of grasping at straws if it's not a werewolf."

A little warbling cry comes over Sam's computer. 

"Can you go get him?" Dean asks Cas. 

"I shouldn't," Cas says. "He likes you more." 

"He does seem to like you the best," Sam says. 

"Yeah because I hold him the most, idiots. It's just a kid. Stop being so scared, Cas. Go get him." 

Cas just disappears, which Dean didn't even know he could do inside the bunker. He thought it was like Hogwarts. No apparating within castle walls. 

"Jesus fucking christ," Dean says. Sam just gives him his defeated moose look. "I'll go get him." 

Dean leaves the room and heads into the library where they're keeping the play pen. Cas is standing by a table, holding Johnny in his arms. Dean stops, stares at how right Cas looks. He wants to help him hold Johnny, kiss him. It's only been two weeks and the kid feels like he's theirs. Like he and Cas are meant to do this together. Even though Cas is horrified of the kid, the way he looks at him makes Dean think he loves Johnny too. 

"You can't just disappear like that and not tell us what you're doing," Dean says. 

"I apologize," Cas whispers. Dean comes to stand close and stare at Johnny's wrinkled little forehead. "I panicked." 

"It's fine. Just don't do it again. Especially when this guy is involved." 

"Do you want to hold him?" Cas asks. 

"No way. Look how comfortable he is." 

Johnny turns towards Cas and balls a little fist into his shirt. Cas smiles down at him. 

"Don't be scared of him. If I can do this, you can do it." 

"That's not true," Cas says. "You are a natural." 

"I don't know why," Dean says. Though he knows exactly why. The why is sitting in the other room trying to figure out what their next move is. Dean yawns, strokes a finger over Johnny's head. "God. He's so tiny." 

"He's a baby." 

Dean flicks his eyes up at Cas. "Yes. I know that, Cas." 

"You should rest while Sam does research. You haven't slept all week." 

"I've slept enough." 

"No you haven't. Go lie down. I'll watch him." 

Dean sighs. "Okay. But you have to promise to wake me up if something happens." 

"I promise." 

"Just an hour or whatever. That's it." 

Cas nods. "Just an hour." 

===

When Dean wakes up he knows that it's been more than an hour. But his back doesn't hurt and his brain isn't fuzzy. 

He finds Cas and Sam watching some action movie with the volume turned way down. Cas is lying down on his back with Johnny sleeping on his stomach. Sam is sitting on the floor on his laptop. Dean feels the same tug at his chest he felt when he walked into the library and Cas was holding Johnny in his arms. Dean nudges at Cas's legs, but doesn't make him move. He just lifts them up and sits down on the couch with Cas's legs draped over his lap. 

"What are we watching?" Dean asks. 

"Batman," Sam says. 

"Bale?" 

"Clooney." 

"Really?" 

"You know I don't like Bale. I'd rather have Keaton, but Cas wanted Clooney." 

Dean pats Cas's thigh. "Really?" 

Cas shrugs. "I know about it but I haven't seen it. Johnny likes the colors." 

"Okay," Dean says. "Do you want me to make dinner?" 

"We were thinking of picking up pizza." 

Dean nods. "I can go pick it up. Bring Johnny. He needs some fresh air." 

Cas makes a little noise, his hand on Johnny's back. "I can come too." 

They wait to get the pizza until the movie is over. Dean doesn't move his hand from Cas's thigh. He doesn't think too much about it. 

===

On the way back from the pizza place there's something lying in the road. 

"Cas," Dean says as they slow to a stop. "Hold onto Johnny." 

Cas is already in the back seat, his arms wrapped around the baby. Dean gets a wave of mine and protect. It's stronger even than when Sam is in danger. 

"If something happens do you think you can get him back to the bunker?" Dean asks, grabbing a gun from between the seats and opening the door. 

"Yes," Cas says. 

Dean looks back at them once before walking up to the thing lying in the road. At first glance it looks like an alligator. Long scaly tale, claws, large teeth exposed like they can't fit into its mouth. But it's arms and legs and the shape of its face are human. 

"What the actual fuck?" 

It's yellow eye opens and it's up and Dean empties his clip before he can even think. The lizard man stumbles and lets out a screech. With the sound of feathers Dean knows that Cas and Johnny are gone. He drops the empty clip, loads a new one fast and runs backwards towards the impala. It doesn't look like the bullets did much at all and Dean doesn't exactly have time to figure out what will actually kill the thing. So running is definitely the best option. The self preservation option. 

The lizard man hits the window of the car as Dean shuts the door. He guns the gas, throwing the lizard off and he sees it running alongside him in the woods. He drives until he's sure he loses the thing and then loops back towards the bunker. The pizza and salads aren't in the back seat when he leaves the car and he guesses Cas grabbed those too, which would be funny if Dean's whole body wasn't thrumming with adrenaline. If he wasn't horrified at what might come out of the dark and attack. He keeps his gun steady as he makes his way back to the bunker and once the door is closed behind him he lets himself relax. 

Sam and Cas are standing by the map table, Johnny is in Cas's arms, wailing. The sound grates at Dean, but in a way that isn't annoying, it just makes him sick. They put this kid in danger for pizza. The pizza boxes and the salad are on the table, untouched behind Cas and Sam. 

Dean makes his way down the stairs, willing himself to stop shaking. He locks his gun, puts it in the waistband of his pants. 

"You guys okay?" he asks. He walks up to Cas and Johnny, puts a hand on Johnny's head and Cas's shoulder. His hand moves from Cas's shoulder to his neck. He feels tears prick at the back of his eyes. He blinks them back because fuck that. He isn't going to cry over Cas. Maybe the baby, but definitely not Cas. "You safe?" 

"We're fine," Cas says. 

"Can I?" Dean asks, reaching for Johnny and Cas gives him the baby easily. Dean bounces him up and down as his wailing fades. He kisses the top of his head. "I was so fucking worried about you, little dude." 

"What happened?" Sam asks. 

"Some sort of monster lizard," Dean says, transferring Johnny to the crook of his elbow, pulling him close to his chest. He concentrates on the feeling of Johnny breathing, the little flutter of his heartbeat. "I think he knew we had the kid, played dead, and then attacked. Silver bullets didn't stop it, but I might've missed its heart. I don't think I did though." 

"What did it look like?" 

"Like he was fucking half man half alligator. Like some mutant thing." 

"Were-lizard," Cas says. 

Dean turns towards him. "What?" 

"I don't know if that's real," says Cas. "I just—half man, half lizard. Sounds kind of like a werewolf, but reptilian." 

Sam nods. "That would make sense with the heart stealing thing." 

"What about the liver and kidneys?" Dean asks. 

"I don't know," says Sam. "I'll have to do some research." 

"We should eat," Cas says. "Then go to sleep. I'm sure we're safe in here." 

"Johnny is sleeping in my room tonight," Dean says. No one argues. 

Dean doesn't let go of Johnny all through dinner. He eats his pizza with a fork and knife instead of his hands so he can keep Johnny close to his chest. He feels a little like an idiot when he cuts his pizza into pieces, but he doesn't care. He only hands the baby off to Cas when they go into the bathroom to give him a bath. Cas is weirdly better at this than Dean is. So Dean sits on the floor by the tub, making faces and blowing bubbles to make Johnny laugh. 

"I need him to sit still so I can wash his hair," Cas says. 

"It's not like there's much to wash." Dean tickles Johnny's little chubby belly. 

"No, but you don't want him to start screaming when he gets shampoo in his eyes." 

"Fine," Dean says. He doesn't pull his hands away, though. He just trades making Johnny laugh for soothing him by running a finger down his arm. "I think I'm kind of in love, Cas." 

"With Johnny?" Cas asks. 

Dean makes a face at him. "Obviously." 

Cas hums, his fingers working into Johnny's sparse head of light hair. "You're very...maternal." 

"Or paternal." 

"Like a mama bear." 

Dean smirks. "Or like Mrs. Weasley. Jesus. Why am I all about Harry Potter references right now?" 

Cas smiles, shields Johnny's eyes as he pours water over his head. "I suppose it's the abandoned baby aspect." 

"Yeah," Dean says. He pulls Johnny from the tub and wraps him in a towel. "Thank you for protecting him tonight, Cas." 

"I want to. I'm happy I was able to." 

"I know that it uses up some of your juice to do that." 

"It's fine, Dean." 

Dean takes Johnny into his room. Cas helps put him in a clean diaper and a onesie and lays him down in the play pen that's now set up at the end of Dean's bed. Cas lingers by the dresser as Dean rubs Johnny's back and sings to him until he falls asleep. Dean sings "Blackbird" like his mother sang, then he sings Metallica. When Johnny is out, Cas is still standing there, watching Dean with squinty eyes like he's trying to understand him. Like Cas doesn't already understand everything about Dean. 

"Are you tired?" Cas asks. 

Dean shrugs. He's more tired lately than he ever was before. He suspects it's a combination of age and the baby. Even in the bunker now he's constantly on high alert. 

Cas rubs the back of his neck. "I don't want to hurt him." 

Dean looks up. "What?" 

"That's why I don't...why I wait for you to pick him up. I screw everything up, Dean." 

"You picked him up earlier, you saved him, Cas. You aren't going to hurt him." 

"What if I do?" 

"Cas." Dean has to search for the words he wants to say. He feels so much at once it's hard to get any of it out. "I want you to hold him. I want him to be comfortable with you. I want it to be easy with you." 

"Why?" 

"Because it matters," Dean says. 

It's more than that really. Because he has this weird vision of them in a house with a porch and probably a cat or two and Johnny going off to school and maybe they've got another kid too because Dean always saw himself with two or three or seven kids. And maybe that other kid's parents were killed too or maybe that other kid is like the shifter baby, a baby that no one else could take care of, but Dean totally understands. A shifter raised right probably wouldn't be that bad at all and if a shifter can be raised right why couldn't something else be raised right? 

Cas nods. "I'll try harder." 

"Just hate yourself less," Dean says with a little shrug. "I know that's kind of meaningless coming from me, but...that's what I want." 

Cas lets out a little chuckle and nods. "I'll try. You should go to sleep, Dean. You look exhausted." 

"I already slept a lot today." 

"You need to sleep more." 

"What about you? Do you need to sleep?" 

"Only sometimes. The borrowed grace is unreliable and wears out. I'm not at my full potential and I'll be mortal before long. Lets hope we kill the thing that's after Johnny before then." 

Dean nods. "Yeah." Cas turns to go. "Wait, Cas." 

Cas turns back to him. "Yes, Dean?" 

"Are you going to steal more grace?" Dean asks. "Once this one runs out?" 

"I suppose I'll have to." 

"And if you didn't?" 

"I'd be human." 

"That's not such a bad thing, though, is it? I mean if you were human you'd be just like us." 

Cas nods. "It just depends on where my place is." 

"It could be with us," says Dean. His heart is pounding against his chest. He doesn't know how Cas doesn't hear it. It's so hard it makes him want to be sick. He hasn't felt like this in forever. Not since Sam jumped into the pit and he knocked on Lisa's door, hoping she'd take him in. 

Cas nods again. "Go to sleep, Dean." 

"Cas, what I'm saying is that I want you to stay." 

"You're tired." 

"No—I mean, yeah, I am tired, but I want this." 

"It's been a strange night." 

"Cas, I'm not fucking with you. I want you to stay." 

Cas looks away towards the door. "We should talk about this tomorrow." 

Dean nods. His stomach churns faster, worse than before. "Okay. Tomorrow." 

Cas is gone and Dean shuts the door. He leans into the playpen and kisses Johnny's head one last time before shucking his jeans and shirt and falling back into his bed. Even though his heart is still hammering in his chest, it doesn't take him long to fall asleep. 

===

Dean is woken up by frantic hissing. At first Dean thinks it's the heater. But the heater isn't on it's too warm for the heater. The hissing is coming from the end of his bed. He's got the lights on and his gun in his hand before he's even really awake.

There's nothing in his room besides the playpen. The hissing is coming from the playpen.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before crawling to the end of his bed and leaning over to check on Johnny. Johnny who isn't totally Johnny anymore but a lizard-kid. 

"Oh fuck," Dean says. 

Johnny's eyes snap open and narrow at Dean. The hissing stops. 

"Johnny," Dean says. "Little buddy." 

Johnny pulls himself into a sitting position. Lizard Johnny has a lot more mobility than human Johnny does. Then he stands up on shaking legs, his tail balancing him, and he launches himself at Dean. Dean doesn't know what to do because this is just a baby he can't fight him. He lets Johnny tackle him back into the bed, shouts for Sam and Cas and expects the worst. 

He does not expect Johnny to sniff at his chin, then burrow into his chest, licking at his collarbone with his rough tongue. 

"Johnny?" Dean rests his hand on the baby's scaly back. "So this is you?" 

The door bursts open and Sam and Cas come tumbling in. Johnny pulls himself up onto his four legs and lowers his belly towards Dean. He hisses long and low at Sam and Cas. Dean sits up, scoops Johnny into his arms and holds him close to his chest. Johnny runs a little cold, chillier than he does as a human. The feeling of it against Dean's bare chest shocks him a little. 

"Little dude," Dean says against Johnny's lizard head. "You know these guys." 

"That's Johnny?" Sam asks. 

Dean nods. "Yup." 

"Oh fuck." 

"That's what I said. But maybe we should keep the swearing to a minimum around him, you know. Little ears and all that." 

"Dean, he's a fucking lizard." 

"Do you think the lizard in the road was his father?" Cas asks. 

Sam shakes his head. "His dad was killed a few months ago." He pauses to think, staring up at the ceiling instead of at Johnny. "Maybe if they're like werewolves they travel in packs...or have rival packs. Actually maybe the lizard who attacked you killed the mother and father to get to the baby to make him a part of his pack." 

"You think it's a were-lizard?" 

Sam hums. "Kinda makes sense." 

"Makes sense?" 

"Well you know, that's why the lizard man was after him. Also it's the full moon so that's why he hasn't turned before. Also you'd obviously fall in love with a misfit lizard baby." 

Dean holds Johnny close. "Yeah, okay. That does make sense. But what do we do, Sam? If the lizard man eats hearts and livers and kidneys how are we supposed to feed this baby when he turns?" 

Sam laughs so loudly that Cas jumps. "Oh my god that was the weirdest thing I've ever heard you say." 

Dean frowns. "I doubt that." 

Sam chuckles. "It was so weird." He shakes his head. "As far as the eating goes, the dad seemed to live a pretty normal life. I think the mom was human. Maybe he just got animal hearts and livers and kidneys. I mean it probably doesn't make a difference. We met those vamps that didn't kill humans." 

"Didn't they all die?" 

"Yeah, but I think that was unrelated. I don't really remember." 

"Okay," Dean says. "Well he's probably going to get hungry soon. So maybe we should like see if he'll eat normal stuff but maybe can you find like a late night store and get liver or something?" 

"I'll go," Cas says and disappears. Sam flinches. 

"Jesus," he says. "Why is Cas being so weird?" 

"I don't know," Dean says, though he definitely knows. 

===

It doesn't take Cas long to come back with livers, kidneys, and a heart wrapped in butcher paper. Though by the time they cook a couple kidneys (even though the kid can probably take raw meat, Dean doesn't want to take any chances) Johnny is gnawing on Dean's sleeve with little pointy teeth and letting out low whiny hisses. 

He slurps down the kidneys and then curls up in Dean's arm again, his tail hanging down Dean's side. 

"Maybe this is really helping people," Dean says, rocking lizardy Johnny in his arms. "Not killing monsters, but taking care of them them." 

Sam nods. "Yeah. I mean, look at him. He's adorable."

"I know," Dean says. "He's not really a monster, just not...human, I guess." 

"He's mostly human," Cas says. He eases Johnny from Dean's arms, turns him over on his back to scratch his scaly tummy. Johnny lets out a pleased hiss and wiggles closer to Cas. 

"Well I'm going to do more research," Sam says. "I'll have more news in the morning. Or afternoon. I'm sleeping in after this." 

He claps Dean on the shoulder and leaves the kitchen. 

Dean walks up to Cas and looks down at the little guy between them. Johnny turns over and possibly attempts to smile at Dean. It's hard to tell with all those teeth. "This isn't that weird. I mean, not weird for us." 

"No," Cas says. 

"Did apparating like that mess with your angel mojo." 

Cas nods. "It did hurt my grace, but not horribly. It was a short trip." 

Dean hums. "You know of all the things Metatron did, I think I'm the most angry about you understanding my references." 

"Really? More than expelling the Angels from heaven and...killing you?" 

"We came back from the other two." 

Cas smiles down at Johnny. Dean runs a hand over the baby's scaly head, looks up at Cas. Cas has that confused Cas look on his face, like he's trying to figure Dean out again. 

"Do you really want me to stay?" Cas asks. 

"I always want you to stay." 

"You never ask me to stay. In fact, sometimes you tell me to go." 

"Cas, you know me, I never ask for anything that I want. Whenever I ask you to go it's because of something else and whenever I don't tell you to stay it's because I figure you'll stay when you're ready." 

"Oh." 

"It's not a good excuse," Dean says. "It's just...I want you to stay, Cas. I'm saying it now. This is me knowing I'm being selfish. You've got a place here and I don't want you to go anywhere else. I need you. I don't like thinking of a future without you. So...that's that." 

Cas stretched the short distance between him and Dean and presses a kiss to his lips. Dean's hand comes up quickly, holding Cas there so he won't pull away. Dean's hand teases into the hair at the nape of his neck. Cas nips at Dean's lips, opens his mouth to let his tongue slide against Dean's. Dean can't help the little noise he lets out. 

Dean imagined this differently. Not that he really imagined it all that much. He just always thought that if he and Cas kissed it would be mid fight, not sweet and slow with a lizard baby between the two of them. But it doesn't make kissing Cas any less amazing and when Johnny hisses and squirms between them Dean chuckles against Cas's lips. 

"Who knew it would take a were-lizard to make that happen?" 

"Still not the strangest thing to ever happen to us." 

"Nope," Dean says. "We should put him to sleep. And then I should probably go back to sleep." 

"Okay," Cas says. He holds on to Johnny as they walk to Dean's room. He lays Johnny down in his play pen and turns to leave. 

"You don't have to go, Cas," Dean says. "I mean, I know you don't sleep, but I wouldn't mind the company." 

"I can sleep," Cas says. "A little at least." 

"Okay," Dean says. "Cool." 

Cas toes off his shoes and pulls off his jeans. He lets Dean get into the bed first and Dean has to think for a minute how it should work logistically. It's a twin bed and he really only kissed Cas once and Johnny is at the end of the bed so like it's not like there's going to be fucking going on. Still this is new and Dean thinks that maybe if he and Cas make this a regular thing then this night might set a precedence. 

Dean rolls onto his side, leaving room for Cas behind him. Cas slides into the bed, hesitantly wraps his arm around Dean's waist, resting his hand on his belly. 

"This okay?" Cas asks. 

Dean nods, his throat tight. He reaches down and puts his hand over Cas's. Cas is definitely smaller than he is and maybe Dean should have offered to be the big spoon, but this feels right. 

"You okay?" Dean asks. 

"Yeah," Cas says. He presses a kiss to the back of Dean's neck. "Go to sleep, Dean. I'll be here." 

Dean can't stop the contented sigh he lets out. He reaches over and turns off the light. 

===

Dean wakes up to his bedroom door opening. It's Sam, poking his head in. He raises his eyebrows when he sees how Cas is wrapped around Dean, snoring softly into Dean's ear. 

"I'll grab Johnny," Sam whispers. Cas stirs but doesn't wake up. He moves just enough that Dean can really feel the morning wood situation he's got going on and Dean needs Sam to leave with Johnny like right now. 

Sam picks Johnny, who is still snoring, out of his playpen. He's totally human now. Not tail or claws or scales. 

Sam sneaks out of the room with the baby and Dean shuts his eyes again. He's still so tired, but that doesn't stop him from pushing back against Cas a little, rubbing his ass against Cas's cock. Cas hums and kisses the back of his neck. 

"Morning," Cas says. 

Dean turns around, kisses him. He's a little embarrassed by his morning breath but Cas doesn't seem to care. The bed is way too small for the two of them but it's almost better that they have to be so close. Dean's thigh is slotted between Cas's legs, their groins pressed together, Cas's hand on Dean's ass pulling him closer. Every movement makes them groan. 

"Where's Johnny?" Cas asks. 

"Sam came in and grabbed him."

"Okay," Cas says with a smile. "So it's not weird if I do this?" 

He grinds his cock against Dean's and Dean gasps. 

"Fuck, Cas." 

Cas's bites against Dean's lips, kisses down the column of his throat as his hand works over Dean's stomach. Dean tries to suck in his gut, self conscious of the shape he's in. 

"Stop, Dean," Cas mumbles into his neck. "I like it." 

"What?" Dean asks. 

He pushes Dean onto his back, kisses downwards, over his stomach. "I love your belly." He kisses a line to Dean's bellybutton. 

Dean groans and not in a sexy way. 

Cas's tongue dips into his belly button and he squirms. "I love all of you." 

"Cas, you can't just say that." 

"Why not?" 

"Because it's not—."

Cas moves away from Dean's belly, leans up to press a kiss to his lips. "I'm not lying to you."

Dean pushes Cas's hair away from his face. "How is that possible?" 

"The not lying?"

"The loving all of me." 

"It's very easy," Cas says. 

"How long?" 

"Always." 

"Why wouldn't you say something?" 

"I knew you were uncomfortable. I thought I would wait for you to be comfortable."

Dean lets out a laugh through his nose. "Jesus, Cas." 

Cas kisses him again and Dean doesn't stop this time. It feels lazy. Cas leaning over him, Dean's hand rubbing Cas's back. It feels so good. Dean doesn't remember the last time making out with someone was so relaxed. And when Cas rocks his hips down it feels more like a natural progression rather than either of them trying to get off. It's just that the making out also is kind of turning him on. More than kind of. 

"Cas," he gasps when Cas's hips move again. He reaches down and pulls Cas's shirt over his head. 

Cas hums into Dean's mouth and Dean rolls him over. He sits back between Cas's thighs, stares down at Cas's toned stomach and the obvious erection hidden behind his boxer-briefs. He runs a hand over his chest. 

"I think I'm gay," Dean says. "Or I'm angel-sexual?" 

"Possibly bisexual, Dean." 

Dean smirks. "A singular same sex attraction?" He leans down and kisses Cas, letting his hand trail down Cas's chest to the front of his briefs. "What do you want, Cas?" 

"I want you to touch me." He sounds more annoyed than anything. It's still hot. 

Dean grazes his fingers over Cas's covered cock. He sucks a kiss onto Cas's neck. He kisses his collarbone, bites his shoulder, licks Cas's nipples until he's squirming. Then he moves further, pulling off Cas's briefs as he goes. Cas's cock rests against Dean's chest and Cas moans. Dean moves downward, wraps a hand around the base of Cas's cock and takes a minute to stare at it. 

It's kind of great. It's still just a dick, but it's Cas's and when Dean presses a kiss to the tip and Cas whines it's awesome. Dean chuckles, let's out a huff of air against it and Cas's fingers pull at the sheets. 

"You can put your hands in my hair," Dean says and Cas's hands are there before he finishes his sentence. Dean swears. Because fuck. He's going to suck the hell out of Cas's dick. 

He does what he thinks he should do, curls his lips over his teeth, gets as far down as he can without gagging. He never really appreciated how difficult this was before. No wonder girls don't love it. 

Except he kinda loves it. 

A lot of it is the smell and the taste and the way Cas is tugging on his hair but trying so hard not to tug too much. It doesn't even matter if Dean isn't doing a great job Cas loves it. Cas doesn't say a lot, just swears, grunts, pants, "Dean, Dean, oh fuck, Dean." And Dean wants it, feels his dick heavy, pressed against the bed. He moves his hips up so he can get his hand that isn't still wrapped around Cas's cock on his dick. When he finally touches himself he almost chokes on Cas's cockhead. 

Then Cas's hands are scrambling at his shoulders and his hair and pulling him up so that Cas can seal his lips over Dean's. He gets his hand around both of them and Dean almost cries it feels so good. 

"Fuck, Cas," Dean says against Cas's lips. "This is awesome. You're awesome." 

"Dean." Cas presses his forehead against Dean's. He kisses his cheeks and his ears and Dean doesn't even feel his orgasm hitting until he's spilling over their fingers and his heart is thrumming against his chest. 

Cas sounds surprised when he comes, like he wasn't expecting it. He kisses Dean through it and Dean returns the kisses lazily. His brain feels all foggy and happy and he falls down next to Cas, puts his head on his chest, laces their fingers together like this is something romantic or some shit. 

"Awesome," Dean says. 

"Yeah," Cas says, pressing a kiss to Dean's hair. 

He rubs his thumb over Cas's hand. Cas's hand. This is Cas. He and Cas just got each other off and it wasn't like a bro giving a bro a helping hand it was...Cas used the word love and Dean kind of wants to use the word love and maybe they're in love. Not that Dean ever uses the word bro. It's just...this is weird okay? He's definitely into Cas. He probably loves Cas. He wants this again and he wants more and he feels a bit like he's losing his virginity at thirty six years old. 

"How are you not freaking out right now?" Dean asks. He still has his hand in Cas's, is still snuggled up against his chest. 

"Are you?" 

"Yeah. I don't know. This is the first time I've don't anything like this." 

"Really?" 

"Maybe like I made out with a couple of dudes in high school. But never this. Never orgasms. What about you? Have you been sneaking around, fucking everyone behind my back?" 

"No. A few people. I have very little experience. I'm just a fast learner." 

Dean kisses Cas's chest. "This is a lot easier than I thought it would be. You know, being all cuddly like this. It isn't as fuckin insane as I thought." 

"Did you think about it?" 

Dean shrugs. "I mean not a lot. A dude can imagine what it would be like to blow another dude. It's not that weird. And, like, I just assumed that if it ever did happen it would be a one time thing. And this is not one time. This can't be one time. It has to be all the time." 

"We can do that." 

Dean doesn't know if now is the time to tell Cas about his vision of their misfit family that they'll raise together. He doesn't want to freak Cas out. He doesn't want Cas to leave again. He couldn't handle that. It could happen, he knows that. He just doesn't want to be the one that makes it happen with his feelings and clingy-ness. 

"Want to shower?" Dean asks. "Then I'll make us breakfast." 

Cas tilts Dean's chin up and presses a kiss to his lips. "I like that idea." 

"Maybe we can go for round two in the shower." Dean waggles his eyebrows. 

"Okay." Cas pushes himself up. He gets out of bed and he's all long and lean and naked and Dean is definitely a little gay. He's really into this. "I want to see how many fingers I can get in you." 

Dean chokes on his own spit and scrambles out of the bed after Cas, who heads towards the bathroom like he said nothing. 

In the shower Cas frames Dean's face with his hands before kissing him and Dean fucking melts. It feels like the first time anyone has ever done this or the first time it's ever been this nice. Maybe it was this nice with Lisa, but he tries not to think about it too much. 

Cas treats Dean like he's a precious thing. He washes the come from his stomach, kisses him as he shampoos Dean's hair. His soapy fingers trail down Dean's back, rest against his ass. Dean whimpers into his mouth as Cas's fingers push between his cheeks, lay against his hole. 

"This okay?" Cas asks, kissing Dean's jaw. 

Dean nods. It's a lot. The shower is warm and steaming, Cas's hands are like magic, even the one that's just rubbing circles on his shoulder, and Dean's dick is already responding. 

Cas kisses him again, presses Dean back towards the wall, rubbing his thigh against Dean's dick, his fingers still working over his hole, just teasing the rim. Then Cas is turning him around, kissing his shoulders and sinking down to his knees behind him. 

"Cas! What the fuck?" 

Cas presses a kiss to Dean's ass, spreads his cheeks apart. The second Dean feels Cas's tongue licking a stripe over his hole Dean is gone. He has to close his eyes because it hurts to keep them open. It's so new and amazing and awesome and...great. It's just great. 

"I want to be inside you," Cas growls against him and Dean's hips stutter forward against the wall and that isn't as great, but it doesn't even matter because then Cas's tongue is pushing inside him and this is even more new and Dean lets out this long groan because he can't even try to hold back. 

"Christ," Dean gasps against the wall. 

Cas takes him apart slowly, cataloguing away every whimper and moan. Dean doesn't force him to go any faster, but when Cas's fingers work in around his tongue and curl and hit something in Dean that sends him reeling, he reaches back grabs Cas's hair in his hands. 

"I'm going to come if you do that again," Dean says. 

Cas stands up and Dean is a little disappointed. But only for a moment. Cas crowds against his back, kisses his neck and his ear and his jaw and his cheek and his fingers are at Dean's ass again, pushing in. He has two in there, pumping in and out leisurely. Dean wants more. The stretch of two fingers is tight, but he stil can't help wanting a third. 

"Cas," Dean says. "Another one, please. I need it." 

Cas bites Dean's shoulder as he adds another finger. Dean fucks himself back on them, relishing in the burn of it. It's a good burn. Painful, but so perfect in the fullness of it and the Cas-ness of it. He wishes he always had Cas like this. Cas should always have some part of himself inside of Dean. 

Cas removes his fingers from him and his hard cock pushes against Dean's ass and Cas presses it down between Dean's thighs. It doesn't seem like it would be all that great but Cas moans into his ear. 

"I want to fuck you," Cas says and Dean almost agrees to it right then, almost tells Cas to fuck him in the shower. "Later. Soon. I want you ready for me. I want you comfortable and open and begging for it." 

"Shit, Cas. Fuck. You can. You definitely can." 

"Good." Cas thrusts his hips. Dean reaches down to get a hand around his cock. 

Cas thrusts, his dick against Dean's balls, between his thighs, Dean can't stop the long string of moans and swears that come tumbling from his mouth. Cas's fingers dig into Dean's hips like he has to hold on or he's going to fall off. 

"Fuck," Dean says, letting his head fall back on Cas's shoulder. "It's like you're fucking me. Jesus." 

Cas hums. "You'll be so good for me when I do fuck you, Dean." 

Cas continues to pump his hips, his thrusts getting a little more aggressive and frantic. It's not long before Dean's coming against the wall. 

He lets out a sob. "Cas. Jesus fucking...Cas." 

Cas's hips jerk against him and Cas's teeth catch at his ear. "So perfect, Dean. You're so good for me. Always so good." Dean feels Cas come between his thighs and it's so dirty and so good he moans again. "I'd do anything for you, Dean." 

They have to repeat the whole shower thing again. This time in lukewarm water, but it doesn't really matter. When they're done and toweling off Cas presses a kiss to Dean's lips. 

"I only got three fingers inside of you. I think we can probably do more next time." 

=== 

"I figured out what we have to do," Sam says when Dean and Cas walk into the kitchen. Dean feels a little weird, like he can still feel Cas's fingers inside him. But he grins when he sees Johnny in Sam's arms. Johnny smiles and coos when he sees him, reaches out towards him. Dean scoops him up in his arms and presses a kiss to his head. 

"What do we have to do?" Dean asks Johnny's fuzzy little head instead of looking at Sam. And then Cas is at his elbow, looking over Johnny. He rests his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean freezes up a little to feel Cas so close, but he eases into it. He wonders if Cas always wanted this. That was his whole personal space thing. And he held back for Dean and now that he doesn't need to he might never again and Dean would be totally okay with that. 

"Dean," Sam says. Dean looks up and Sam has his eyebrows raised into his ridiculous hair. "So...you guys...?" 

"I don't like labels," Dean says. Mostly because shower sex and early more hand jobs are an indicator of spending the rest of your life with someone. It's basically just a really good hook up. He just wants more and probably Cas wants more too because they couldn't actually just do something quick. That wouldn't make any sense. But Dean doesn't want to assume. 

Sam just rolls his eyes, oblivious to Dean's internal panic. "I'll get everything together. You guys meet me in the library." 

Sam disappears and Dean would leave with Johnny in his arms, but suddenly Cas is there. 

"No labels," Cas says, standing in front of Dean. He brushes his fingers over Johnny's head. 

Dean raises his eyebrows. "Do you want a label because mostly I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable." 

"You want me to be your boyfriend?" 

"I feel to old for that. My partner maybe? That kinda works for us." 

"Partner." Cas smiles. He kisses Dean. "I like that. You should tell Sam." 

"Sam can mind his own damn business." 

They walk close together to the library. Dean would hold Cas's hand if he didn't have both arms wrapped around Johnny. He settles for touching shoulders. "Sam is your brother." 

"Still. This is me and you." 

In the library, Dean settles Johnny into his playpen that he guesses Sam must've brought in from his room. He doesn't worry about Sam grabbing it when he and Cas were in the shower. He does worry about it a little, but the bathroom is probably pretty sound proof. Sam doesn't seem too scarred. 

Dean is still about to pull Cas into a kiss despite the possibly of Sam walking in on them when Sam does actually walk in with everything they need for killing this lizard thing, which seems to include a bronze bowl, a bag of herbs, and a machete. 

"Cas is my boyfriend," Dean says, uncomfortably and too loudly. 

Sam laughs. "Dude, he's always been your boyfriend." 

"I thought we settled on partner." Cas raises an eyebrow. 

"Whatever, man." Dean blushes. "I got excited." He claps his hands together. "So what else do we need?" 

Sam looks at the book he's holding. "Uh, angel blood." 

Cas already has a knife out and Dean grabs his hand. 

"Where the hell did you get that?" It's not like Cas wears the trench coat or a long shirt anymore. He can't just pull knives out of his short sleeves. 

"Pants," Cas says with a shrug. 

"Wait. If the lizard man stabbed that other lizard dude to death did he have angel blood?" 

"Well it's a blade blessed with angel blood and then you use the blade to chop the head off." 

"Where did he get angel blood though?" Dean asks. 

"It's fine," Cas says. "There are many places to obtain angel blood." 

Dean points at him. "That doesn't make me comfortable. Let's not use your blood. You're low on mojo."

"It's fine," Cas says again. He pulls his hand away from Dean. Dean doesn't let that get to him. He knows that Cas is just going to do the spell for them. He's not pulling away from Dean because he doesn't want this relationship. It's definitely not that. "I don't mind doing this for you and Sam." 

Sam snorts. "Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters." 

Cas smiles and looks down at the knife in his hands. When he cuts himself he makes a little noise and squeezes the blood into the brass bowl Sam's holding. 

Dean cringes. "You don't have to do this." 

"It's done," Cas says. He looks down at his hand. "I think I need a bandage of some sort." 

Dean takes his hand. "Jesus, Cas. Why isn't it healing." 

"I'm running out of grace," he says. 

"Do you think it'll still work?" Sam asks and Dean wants to punch him because that doesn't matter as much as Cas bleeding right now matters. Cas is hurt, he hurt himself for Dean and Sam and Johnny, and all Sam can worry about is whether or not this is going to affect his ritual.

"It'll be fine, go get him something to wrap this up," Dean barks. Sam rolls his eyes and leaves the room. Dean smooths his thumb over Cas's wrist. "Does it hurt." 

"It's fine, Dean. You do this to yourself all the time." 

"I'm used to it." 

"I've been hurt before." 

"Whenever you get hurt I want to do this," Dean says. "Now I get to. Just let me be openly worried about you, okay?" 

"Okay." 

Sam comes back with some gauze and medical tape and wraps up the cut on Cas's hand. 

"Are we ready to do this?" Sam asks, looking down at all the ingredients. 

"What if something bad happens?" Dean asks. "Should we move Johnny into the map room? We can set up the monitor on your computer again, Sam." 

Sam rolls his eyes, but nods and picks up the play pen with Johnny inside to carry into the other room. When he comes back he sets up his computer and they can hear Johnny squealing happily over the speakers. 

Dean lets out a relieved sigh. "Okay. We can do this now." 

"Can we?" Sam asks. "You're such a mom." 

"Mrs. Weasley," Cas says. He grins at Dean and Dean wants to kiss the grin right off of him. He feels like a thirteen year old girl. Cas is just so damn cute. 

Sam pours the blood mixed with herbs and whatever else was in the spell over the machete, whispering the incantation. Nothing happens, but maybe nothing is supposed to happen.

Then the lights in the bunker go out and Johnny lets out a wail. 

There's a thud and a hiss and Dean doesn't even register that he's running towards the map room until the red emergency lights come on and there's something reptilian at his heels. It grabs his ankle and pulls him down. Dean kicks, unloads the clip on his gun into the thing's face and torso, not that it does much, but he buys him enough time to get towards Johnny. 

He doesn't even know where Sam and Cas are and he's worried about it because of the thud, but he can't do that right now. Johnny is screaming, his screams sounding a lot more like a reptile than a kid and he's got more movement as that thing. Dean doesn't want him to run and panic. 

Johnny is all scaly and dark green when Dean runs into the map room, but he's still in his playpen, backed up against the side of it. Dean breathes a sigh of relief and Johnny heaves himself towards him as the lizard man comes crashing into the room, wrecking the door frame and destroying a table as he does. He's bleeding from the bullets, but they're healing. Dean doesn't have the machete, can't even think how to get back to the library without dying. 

Johnny's claws skitter across the floor as he runs towards Dean, pulls himself up his leg, crawls up his back and perches himself on Dean's shoulder. 

The lizard man stops and stares. 

"Dean!" Cas comes into the map room and before Dean can say anything the lizard man turns, his tail catching Cas in the chest. Red appears across his t-shirt and Cas looks more surprised than anything. Then the lizard man gets his claws in Cas and is tosses him across the room where he hits the computers. 

Cas falls. 

He doesn't move. 

"Johnny," Dean says quickly. He drops the empty clip, loads a new one into his gun. Johnny whines low in his ear, sinks closer to him, rubbing his cool belly on Dean's shoulder. "Johnny, can you understand me? You need to hide. I'm going to protect you." 

Johnny drops from Dean's shoulder and skitters away. The lizard man darts forward, but Dean is in his way, leveling the gun at his face. 

"Hey!" Dean shouts. He wants to look back at Johnny to make sure he hid somewhere, but he can't afford to look away. "You take one more step towards my kid I will gut you." 

"You're kid?" The lizard thing hisses. When it talks it sounds like a thousand slippery voices at one time. "He is just as much mine as he is yours." 

"Wrong," Dean says. "I'm not going to eat him." 

"I'm not going to eat him either," says the lizard. "I'm going to raise him as one of us. The way he should be. They wanted him to be human. Ashamed of what they are. You'll make him ashamed too." 

"I'll kill you," Dean says. 

"Those bullets won't stop me." 

"They'll slow you down." 

"Not enough to keep me from taking what's mine." 

"Not yours. We've been over this." 

The lizard moves again and Dean moves too. He hears Johnny whimper behind him. 

"He's one of us," the lizard says. 

"You killed his parents," says Dean. "You can't expect me to just let him go." 

"Do you think you could ever take care of him? Do you think you can keep him from his true nature?" 

"I think I can help him grow up normal, keep him from ending up like you." Dean glances over at Cas's body. His stomach churns. This isn't...this can't be how it ends. 

"He is like me," the lizard hisses. 

"He's not a murderer." 

"You think raising him like a hunter will stop him from becoming a murderer? Newsflash, Winchester, you're all murderers. You're going to kill me as soon as you get the chance and if he was fully grown you'd kill him too." 

"If you walk away and never come back, I'll let you live." 

"That's a lie. Why would you let me live?" 

"To keep him safe. I don't want to fight you." 

"You worried you'll lose?" 

"No." 

"Then fight me, Dean. I want to kill you like I killed your angel. I'll do it slowly so you can watch me walk away with the baby, so you'll know that you lost." 

Over the lizard's shoulder, Dean sees Sam appear, a cut above his eye bleeding down the side of his face, holding the machete. He tries not to look at him for too long, he knows he needs to keep distracting the lizard. 

"Please," Dean says. "I can't let you take him. I'll die before I let you take him." 

The lizard smiles, all teeth. "I know you will." 

He lunges towards Dean with a shriek, but it's cut short as Sam's machete cuts through his neck. The lizard's head hits the ground with a thud, rolls towards Dean's feet.

They're just left there with a lizard body in two pieces. It doesn't even turn back into a person. It doesn't do anything cool. It's just there and there's so much blood Dean feels sick. He's covered in it too and he's hurt from when the lizard dragged him down earlier. His ankle, the cuts in his chest and on his face, they just feel dull. Throbbing, but not hurting. 

Johnny starts wailing from where he hid under a computer. Dean wants to laugh because he's still a baby even if he's more functional as a lizard and under a computer was a stupid hiding place. He also wants to sink to his knees on the ground because his whole body is tired, his muscles ache, his back is sore. He can't. 

"Sam," Dean says, running over to Cas. "Get Johnny." 

Dean crashes onto the ground next to Cas, rolls him onto his back. He's breathing slightly, there's a pulse. Dean pulls his head into his lap, slaps his face. 

"Cas, man, c'mon." 

Cas's head is bleeding, his chest too. 

"Is he okay?" Sam asks, having to shout a little to be heard over Johnny's wails. Johnny is still not human, his little claws catch at Sam's arm and scratch him, but it doesn't look like he can do much damage. 

"I don't know," Dean says. "Can you calm Johnny down. He's going to get sick." 

Sam bounces Johnny a little, makes noises at him. It doesn't do much. Dean is way better at this than Sam is, but Dean doesn't want Cas to wake up in Sam's lap. He wants Cas to wake up and look at him. He needs Cas to see him. 

Cas's body lurches so hard that he's sitting up, coughing. Dean pulls him against his chest, keeps his hand on the back of his head. 

Dean doesn't realize he's shaking until Cas wraps his arms around him and he's suddenly embarrassed that Cas can feel him. 

"Fuck, Cas. Fuck." 

"I'm okay," Cas says, but he doesn't let go of Dean. "Is the lizard—did you—is Johnny okay?" 

"He's okay," Dean says. "Listen to him." 

Johnny's hiccuping now and letting out little whimpers as Sam softly rubs his back. Cas sags against Dean, presses his nose into Dean's neck. 

"We're okay," Dean says, he presses kiss to Cas's scalp because he can't help it. He doesn't even care if Sam sees. 

Dean helps Cas up, runs his hand over Cas's cheeks. Johnny lets out a little raspy noise. He's straining against Sam towards Dean and Cas. Dean takes him from Sam and Johnny nuzzles against him, still a lizard. 

He looks down at the body on the floor. "We need to clean up." 

Sam nods. "I'll get rid of the body, Cas you need to take care of yourself and you need to shower, Dean." 

"I'll stay with Johnny while you get cleaned up," Dean says to Cas. He reaches out to touch the rip in Cas's shirt and Cas flinches. "Here...I can come help." 

Sam doesn't say anything as Dean shifts Johnny into his arm and uses his free hand to take Cas's. He leads them towards his bedroom. Johnny is relaxed and human by the time they get there, snoring softly against Dean. Dean places him in the middle of the bed and then pulls Cas into the bathroom. They keep the door open so Dean can keep an eye on Johnny, but Dean helps Cas pull his shirt over his head. He tosses it towards the hamper in the corner and it misses, but it doesn't really matter. 

The cut on Cas's chest isn't bleeding anymore and Dean thinks that maybe some of his angel mojo must be working because it should be worse. There was so much blood when it happened. Dean wipes him down, bandages his arms and forehead. He taps a long strip of gauze of Cas's chest. 

"It's not like I haven't been human before," Cas says, his hand gripping Dean's bicep. "I should be used to this." 

"Dude," Dean says. "I still feel shit when I get hurt, you're going to feel shit too." 

Cas nods. "I suppose." 

Dean presses his forehead against Cas's, tries not to put too much pressure behind it so that he doesn't hurt him. He presses a quick kiss to Cas's lips. 

"I'm glad you're safe," Dean says. "You, Sam, Johnny, you're it for me." 

Cas nods, his breath coming in short puffs against Dean's lips. "Same." 

"Really?" Dean asks. He doesn't want to admit it, but there's always this thought that Cas could leave again. He could and Dean wouldn't fight him, wouldn't blame him even. He understands that he isn't Cas's roots. Cas lived thousands of years before he even came along. He gets it. It would hurt, but he understands. 

"Yes." He smiles a little. "You should shower. I'll watch Johnny." 

When Dean gets out of the shower twenty minutes later, rid of blood and whatever else, Cas and Johnny are asleep on the bed. Johnny is curled up on Cas's chest and Cas is wearing a pair of Dean's sweatpants, his hand on Johnny's back. 

Dean can't help the wave of good and family that washes over him. He lets it. 

===

After the body is buried and the blood cleaned off the floor, things kind of go back to normal. The day is kind of a wash. They're all too tired to really do anything and end up falling asleep early without eating dinner. Cas curls around Dean again and sleeps through the night. 

It takes a couple of nights for Sam to kind of get the hint and offer to take Johnny into his room for the night. They should actually put him back in his own room, maybe paint and make it a nursery for real. But it's only been a couple of days and Dean isn't comfortable with letting Johnny sleep on his own yet and even though he can tell Sam wants to argue he doesn't. 

Dean presses a kiss to Cas's palm, over the cut there. It's still healing slowly. If Cas was at full functionality it wouldn't be there. Dean doesn't want to admit that likes it. He likes that he gets to press a kiss to Cas's wounds, treat them. 

Cas closes his eyes and lets out a sigh when Dean kisses down his wrist. He moves along to kiss the bruises on Cas's cheeks and jaw. His lips trace the cut at the top of Cas's nose and at his hairline. He pulls the torn t-shirt over Cas's head and kisses the long gash across his chest from the lizard's tail. 

"I love you," Dean whispers into his skin and Cas's hand comes up to tangle into his hair. 

"I love you too, Dean." 

It feels easy to say it. Dean hasn't said it to a lot of people. Hell, maybe just one or two people and one of those people was probably Sammy. And every time he's said it before he's felt his heart hammer against his chest. This time it just comes out normal. Like he has always meant to say it. 

He sinks down to his knees in front of Cas. He's been thinking about this since the first time he did it. The musk of Cas's cock, the weight of it in his mouth. He presses his nose to the front of Cas's jeans before he does anything else and Cas's hands tangle into his hair. 

"You don't have to," Cas says. 

"I want to," says Dean. 

He opens Cas's jeans. He takes another deep breath, presses his face into the open zipper. Cas is already half hard. Cas's jeans don't go easily and when he tries to kick them off he accidentally kicks Dean in the thigh, but Dean laughs, leans his head against Cas's leg and Cas chuckles above him. 

"You sure?" Cas asks, carding his fingers through Dean's hair. 

Dean grins and takes Cas's cock into his mouth. It's easier this time. He can go a little further. Not much because it's not like he's been practicing the last couple of days. But it's still less of a surprise when the head of Cas's cock hits Dean's throat. He probably went a little too fast, could have eased into it even more. He barely kissed it, but he wanted it. He want to taste Cas again. He wants to get Cas off, swallow him down. 

Even though he hasn't been able to get any in the last couple of days, Dean has been spending a lot of time perusing the internet for blowjob tips. 

He grasps the base of Cas's cock, moves his head more. Cas's fingers tug on his hair and Dean doesn't stop him. He knows he could, but Cas is still gentle, making little noises above him. Dean lets his hand wander to Cas's ass, over his hole, down to his balls. 

"Dean." Cas's voice sounds wrecked and Dean is so happy that he's the one who did this to him. He's proud of it, proud of his research. 

Dean gasps around him. His dick is straining against his jeans and he rocks his hips forward for some friction even though there's none. 

"You're so beautiful like this," Cas says. "Fuck. I'm not going to last much longer. You can—you don't have to, Dean." 

Dean redoubles his efforts, sinks down faster and sucks harder. Cas lets out a long sigh when he comes and Dean tries to swallow it all down, but some spills over his chin. It's kind of gross, but totally worth it when Dean sees the totally feral look in Cas's eyes. 

Then Cas has Dean up, pushing him towards the bed. He kisses the come from Dean's chin, licks it up like it's not totally gross. Dean falls back, breathing heavily. He doesn't know how Cas is the one who can manhandle him when he just came so spectacularly down Dean's throat. Dean should be the one manhandling Cas. He's should feel all warm and fuzzy and dazed. Cas pulls off Dean's clothes unceremoniously, then pulls off his own. He leans down to kiss Dean and when his belly grazes Dean's hard cock, Dean bucks up against him. 

Cas reaches over and grabs a bottle of lube from the bedside table. 

"Where did you get that?" Dean asks. 

"At the store yesterday," Cas says. He pours some onto Dean's hand, slicks up his fingers before guiding Dean towards his ass. 

"Cas," Dean gasps, finally realizing what's happening. "Are you sure." 

"Yes," Cas says. His cock isn't totally soft, but isn't totally hard. Dean still didn't think that he'd be the one to fuck Cas. "Yes, Dean. Please." 

"Shit." Dean sinks a finger into Cas without teasing and it's way easier than when Cas did it to him. There's a little resistance, but not too much. And Cas just moans and falls forward onto Dean's chest. "You're so tight, Cas. Fuck." 

"Give me more, Dean. I want you to fuck me." 

Dean kisses him as he scissors in another finger. Cas makes these little noises and it's driving him insane. He presses in a third finger and Cas rocks back of them. 

"That's enough," Cas says, pulling Dean's hand out. Dean barely has enough time to register Cas sitting up before he's holding the base of Dean's dick and sinking down on it. 

Dean almost cries. He knows that would probably be too much but it's overwhelming how hot and tight and perfect Cas is. 

"So good," says Cas, rocking his hips. His cock is hard again, slapping against his stomach with each movement. "You fill me up so nicely, Dean." 

Dean can't catch himself before he growls and pushes up into Cas. Cas lets out a shocked little "oh" before closing his eyes and smiling. 

"Fuck, Cas," Dean says. "You're amazing. You're so perfect. So beautiful. Look at you." 

He reaches up and pulls Cas down into a kiss. It changes the angle, makes his thrusts shallower and erratic. So he grabs Cas's hips and flips them over, trying hard not to pull out. He doesn't want to do that for as long as he can help it. He pulls Cas's knee over his shoulder and fucks into him. This is better. Cas closes his eyes, throws his head back to moan with each deep thrust. Dean bends down and bites into Cas's long neck. 

He wraps a hand around Cas's cock and Cas's hands find his ass, pulling him in more. His finger just rests against Dean's hole and Dean comes like a shot, gasping as his orgasm is punched out of him. 

He buries his face in Cas's neck, licks and kisses his way through it. He pumps his hips, loving the feeling of filling Cas up. He gets a hand lazily around Cas's cock and starts jerking it. 

"Oh my god, Cas," he mumbles into his skin as Cas keens. He fucks himself on Dean's softening and over sensitive dick. Dean doesn't really care, just wants to hear the noises Cas makes for him when he comes. "You're perfect, Cas. You're awesome. I love you. I love you. I love you." 

Cas clenches his eyes tight, Dean's name falling out of mouth as he spills between the two of them, shooting over their chests. Dean's lips find his and he kisses him through it. He soothes him even though he probably doesn't need it. Dean just wants to make him feel good. He wants to take care of him. 

"Dean," Cas sighs when he can finally speak again. Dean moves to roll over, but Cas holds him fast. "Don't just yet." 

Dean nods. "Okay." He rests his head on Cas's chest. He kisses the healing gash there. He breathes Cas in. Loves how human he is. "I could get used to this." 

Cas hums. "Me too." 

===

Charlie comes for Thanksgiving. It wasn't supposed to be so normal, but Sam called her. Dean didn't want her to feel any pressure. She didn't have to come eat dinner with them and probably get wrapped up in some big thing like they always did. 

"You have a freakin baby now, Dean," she had said over the phone. "Of course I'm coming." 

When Dean meets her outside she screams and gets out of her yellow car. "Where's the kid?" 

"It's nice to see you too," he says and pulls her into a hug. He kisses her hair. 

She pats his belly. "You're such a dad, Dean." 

"Well you're...I don't know. You look good." 

She smiles. "You too." She gestures to the stubble that is less stubble now and more a beard. "This is a good look on you." 

Inside Johnny is toddling around the map room. He's at full mobility as a lizard, but as a human he still has some trouble between getting from point A to point B. Dean and Cas and Sam still made a huge deal over his first human steps. Even if he could climb walls as a lizard. 

Johnny stops moving when he sees Charlie. He looks at her with wide eyes and Dean is just happy that he doesn't turn. He's been biting when he turns lately and he doesn't want Charlie to have to deal with that. 

"Hey Johnny!" Charlie shouts, walking over to him. She picks him up in her arms. "How's it going, you little monster." 

Cas makes a sound low in his throat. "Don't call him a monster." 

Charlie blushes. "That's not what I meant." 

"We don't want him to feel bad about what he is," Dean says, coming up behind Charlie. He kisses Johnny's forehead. "Cas is very sensitive about it." 

"I'm just a little sensitive," Cas says. 

Johnny wiggles in Charlie's arms until she puts him down and he hurries back over to Cas. Dean puts his hand on Charlie's back. "Want to go say hi to Sam? He's in the kitchen." 

"I can't believe you're not cooking." 

"I was cooking," Dean says. "But I came out to meet you. Everything was mostly done anyway." 

"Are we eating a ton?" she asks. 

"I made enough to feed a small army." 

Charlie lets out a laugh. "So you're really doing this?" 

"Making dinner?" Dean asks. He's being stupid on purpose. He knows what she's really asking. 

"Having a family. With Cas?" 

"Yeah. I mean we have to figure out stuff like school and hunting and whatever else." 

"How's the mark?" Charlie asks. 

Dean glances down at his arm. It twinges sometimes. Cas presses kisses to it during the night, soothes Dean during his nightmares. But mostly it hasn't done much. He hasn't needed to kill anything besides things that were killing others. 

"It's quiet," Dean says. "Hopefully it stays that way." 

"And you and Cas are going to move into a little house with a white picket fence?" 

Dean shrugs. "Maybe. Whatever Cas wants." 

"Whatever Cas wants." Charlie laughs and bumps his shoulder with her own. "You're ridiculous." 

===

Six years later 

"John Robert Winchester, you are not leaving this house until you finish your cereal." 

"Daaaaaad," Johnny whines, his head thrown back like eating the rest of his cereal is the hardest thing he's ever done. "I have to go to school." 

Dean points at the bowl. "Finish it." 

Cas sighs from where he leans against the counter drinking coffee. "Dean, don't be so hard on him." 

"He has to eat if he's going to learn anything," Dean says. "Sam is so smart because he ate breakfast every day. Come on. Finish it and then I'll drop you off, Johnny." 

"Can we get a donut on the way?" he asks. 

"You won't eat your cereal, but you'll eat a donut?" 

Johnny gives him a look like he's the stupidest person on the planet. "Yeah." 

"Finish your cereal and we'll talk about it." That usually means yes, especially when Dean is the one driving to school, especially because Dean always wants a donut too. 

At the door Cas presses a kiss to the top of Johnny's head and mutters, "I love you."

Johnny hugs him tight around his thighs and says, "I love you too, Papa." 

Every time this happens, which is every day that Johnny goes to school, Dean feels his heart swell. He can't get over it. This is his. And maybe it happened weirdly and maybe there's still an arsenal of weaponry in the shed out back and maybe sometimes Dean leaves Johnny and Cas alone for the weekend to knock off a routine haunting because he really can't not do it, but it's his family. His normal. 

Cas kisses Dean too. "I'll see you when you get back." 

"Want me to pick up groceries?" Dean asks, leaning in and kissing Cas again. Sometimes he can't get over that he can do this. Cas is his to kiss. 

"Guys," Johnny says, standing between them and pushing their legs apart. "Stop being gross." 

"I'll text you a list," Cas says, giving Dean one last quick kiss. "I love you, Dean." 

Dean blushes because he always blushes. "Love you too, Cas."

**Author's Note:**

> This is so cheesy. I'm sorry that it's so cheesy at the end. Also I figure that Johnny probably knows his whole deal, like they told him about his mom and stuff. But also he's six and a half so not having an existential crisis about it yet. I assume that when he's sixteen it'll be a completely different issue. 
> 
> Also Cas totally just becomes human and like ages with Dean and they live happily ever after and die when they're really old and have about a thousand great grand children. And Sam is definitely married to some nice girl and they have a million kids and a million dogs. 
> 
> I also know that Misha Collins isn't like super ripped like he was in that one episode he takes off his shirt, but I'm writing Cas ripped and Dean as a chubster because that's what I want.
> 
> Also! We're on Tumblr: http://planiforidjit.tumblr.com/


End file.
